i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
