so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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