so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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