One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
