I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
