i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
