11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
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