I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
