no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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