Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Randomize
