Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I need a beard to bite.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize