i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
