Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
