bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
