So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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