I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
