I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
