Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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