why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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