McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
