don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
