My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
