Moan for me like Helen Keller
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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