I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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