# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
