real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
