Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize