Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
