the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
