I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
