Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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