I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Boobs speak an international language.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
