Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
