i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
