are you so shy because you have an std?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
