She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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