you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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