I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize