i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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