Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
