Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
