will power is for people who don't want to get laid
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm too high and old for this...
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
