Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
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