i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.