The maid of honor just puked.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
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I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
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are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now