he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
