Swine flu is the new snow day.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
