You can't motorboat a personality
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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