I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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