shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
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I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
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Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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