Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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