did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
