I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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