You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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