are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
