People in love make me want to vomit
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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