somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
