when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
