We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Randomize
