I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
