ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
