walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
