i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
