you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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