My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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