so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
