and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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